I have been planning since last May to go to a writer's conference in May in Daytona. Since I started to write seriously (as in career not topic), I have tried to make this kind of thing a priority.
Everyone in my family knows this. But with bills piling up (condo to be repaired, tax re-assessment), it was getting chancy if I could go at all. Then the happy straw that broke the camels back on that one-- my sister is getting married this summer. I wouldn't be able to afford to go to North America twice so that pretty much ruled out Daytona.
But hey, I can be flexible. There is another conference in Atlanta at the end of July! I can go then!!!!! So I can kill two birds with one stone! Better yet.
So when asked when would be an okay time for me (as tickets from Japan are really expensive at certain parts of summer) I say, "Hey! Anytime except July 26-29 as I can change my plans to that one. (And there are no romance writer's groups here this is big to me)
So of course, when is the wedding? July 28. As that is the only day, and how can I not go?
Except then when talking to my sister last week, she lets slip that actually there are two other dates: July 1 and july 15.
July 1 is out because my parents teach. July 15 is out because... get this... my aunt and uncle are going on a HOLIDAY that weekend and my mom wants them to be there so she can have the family wedding she never had.
EXCUSE ME???? What the heck do you think happened in Hawaii when I got married? It is really not my fault that relatives decided not to go. ie to cheap.
This is really supporting my belief that weddings are really not about the bride and groom. Whoah... I better not even get started on that path.
And the conflicting feeling is that I am happy for my sister. I'm glad she found someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with and that some guy figured out what a great catch he has in my sister.
I am just so choked that it has to be at the expense of something that was really REALLY important to me. And now I change important career oriented stuff because my aunt and uncle are going on a holiday.
What annoys me also, is that my family doesn't particularly see this as a sacrifice on my part. NO BIG DEAL. Of course I'm going to go to the wedding.
And as for, well there is always next year... maybe. But my husband and I are going to make a last ditch effort at having kids this year (which probably won't work out) but if it does, that pretty much rules out this kind of thing for a good long while.
I wish I didn't feel mad about this, but I do. I really do.
I am happy but way ticked off at the same time.
I wish I had paid my money a long time ago instead of trying to be flexible and work with other people.
Lesson learned there."